(Source: lifeisadigitalimage, via beautifulfuckeduplife)
Jun 02. 2374 Notes.
(Source: tastefullyoffensive)
Jun 02. 6405 Notes.
(Source: soquicktopointthefinger, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
Jun 01. 7539 Notes.
this is great.
Dude I thought I was the only one that did this when no ones home
May 31. 112791 Notes.
(Source: readerbeware, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
May 29. 6011 Notes.
(Source: ije0ma, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
May 26. 158633 Notes.
May 26. 18257 Notes.
“There’s always money in the banana stand…”
(Source: grilledcheesethursday, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
May 25. 6415 Notes.
May 23. 5 Notes.
- Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
- Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
- Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
- Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
- Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
- Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
- Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
- Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
- Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
- Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
- Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
- Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
- Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
- Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
- Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
- Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
May 21. 37920 Notes.
